When You’re Scared But You Do It Anyway

Today was the day! (This was written last Thursday and I was too scared to post it! 🙂 )  It was my girls’ last day at an excellent school with wonderful teachers and reasonable tuition.

I will start homeschooling in the fall.  I shared last week about how I quit my full time teaching job.  That was the first piece of this puzzle.

I have questioned, prayed, talked about, written about, prayed some more, cried, and every other form of pleading that could have been done about this decision for years.  My personality wants to control everything and I have no exact road map for this journey.  I keep waiting for an adultier adult to show up and tell me exactly what to do and how it’s going to work out!

I am scared.  Terrified.   I’m sending my husband with the withdrawal forms next week because I am so anxious about it.

Photo Credit: The Humor League

The truth is that’s the truth.  I am scared but I’m doing it anyway.  I’m looking into the eyes of three little girls and smiling and speaking with confidence about how excited I am about this journey that we are beginning.  I’m skipping right over the part that I really have no clue and I think of the million things that could go wrong daily.  I’m omitting that I fought back tears as we were leaving campus today.

One step at a time.  If you’re struggling with fear about a decision as I was (still am some days), I’d like to share this post from Proverbs 31 Ministries titled “There is no such thing as a perfect decision.”  God continues to show up through people and devotions.

Here are the reasons that I believe that this is our next right thing for our family.  It is not right for everyone but I believe that it is going to be a good, good thing for us in our little corner of the world.

  1. I feel like I really don’t know my kids. Everyone is exhausted by 4 when we get home.  We just go through the motions of our routine.  And we go through them as quickly as we can because we must get.it.all.done.  I can’t wait to move somewhat unhurried through the day.  I want to give my children the chance to speak those long run-on sentences without finishing their thoughts myself.  I want to read all the words on the pages without trying to cut the story short.  I want to be able to focus on the details that I normally nod about and push through.
  2. I want to prioritize what is truly priority for us.  I don’t care so much if my kids know how to do the whip and nae-nae with a group.  I do, however, care that their hearts learn to sing of Christ and His love.
  3. I want our family unit to strengthen.  I want to have more time during these little years to make memories and love on people, both inside and outside of our walls.  This is my tribe.  The years rush past.  This is not forever.  Seconds literally seem to move into years gone by.  This is the best way that I know to slow it down.  It’s not perfect.  But it’s something.
  4. God is faithful.  I believe that he has called us to do this.  He just needs for me to do my part.  The rest is on Him.  I am confident that He can handle it.

So, off we go!


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