For the past few days, we have been receiving small showers of rain in the afternoon. Yesterday was no exception. I tried to remember if the twins had seen “real” rain, at least since they have been old enough to notice it. So I quickly got Haigan to help me get them to the back porch so we could sit and let them watch. As all of the showers have, it quickly faded into a sprinkle and then it was gone, with only a few steamy puddles to remember it by. I had noticed my sad little marigolds earlier in the day, dry and in need of some attention. But as the rain left, they were just shining with color. I just had to take a picture of them. (We’re very proud of them as they are the one thing we had time to plant this year.) It really made me stop and think about the rain. I feel like there have been many showers of rain in my life, many disappointments, so many things that I wish I’d done differently. During those times when it was “raining” and “stormy”, I certainly would have wished to be anywhere but in the middle of it. But just like our little pots of marigolds, I needed the rain. I hope that I have been polished just a little bit during my life’s rainstorms and that I can shine just a little brighter now too.
Baby A took her first steps about two weeks ago and has gotten really confident in the past few days. I was actually, and still am I suppose, very anxious for the twins to walk. They watch LG and kick their feet in their wagon as they see her run freely through the back yard. It seems very appealing to them and I have felt that they were being left out of some of the fun activities. But as this milestone is reached, it is bittersweet. I had a professor in college who once said “Mothers have the hardest jobs because they have to let their hearts walk around in the world.” I don’t know if she was quoting someone else or if she spoke from her own mama heart but that just stuck with me. I was a very new mother at the time but I still got it. Not quite like I get it now, but I understood. Right now, we lure Baby A by excitedly saying “come to mama, come to mama” and she does. She comes with the sweetness and innocence of all that she was created to be….bringing it all to mama. I know that this entire life is likened to a vapor…so these brief moments pass so quickly that I can’t even comprehend it. My prayer for my girls, and all of my kids, is that their steps will be lit by His word. I pray that the paths that they take lead them to the foot of the cross. Four of my five hearts are now walking around in this very big world.
Oh be careful little feet where you go…….
Today is like most other days. I have done the never ending pick up of toys in the midst of the ordinary maintenance of the housework. I have done the dash from living room to playroom at a maddening pace…only for the toys to reappear minutes later. I have cleaned up under highchairs way more than it seems should be necessary. The dirty bottoms, the runny noses and the yogurt covered faces really could get the best of me today. My living room has been converted temporarily (I hope) into a community of quilt-tents for H and LG. I have constantly reminded myself today (and it has been a struggle) to embrace these moments. I don’t think my children see what I see in this house. What I need to see is a house of comfort, creativity and love that we are creating. I am not sure I would let you in if you came to my door right now. But as I sit and listen to H playing his guitar and watch LG dance, while hearing the babies giggle from their bedroom….only my house is messy. My heart is a happy place.