Yes, you read that right. An addiction.
There are no alcohol or drugs involved but sometimes the consequences can be just as heavy. You can miss out on life. The good stuff passes you by.
My addiction is to being busy!
Like with any addiction, I suppose, you don’t realize that you have a problem most of the time. It doesn’t seem to be that big of a deal when I’m in the middle of it.
During the school year, when I’m doing 95 things a day and the schedule is crowded and every minute is spoken for, I wouldn’t notice a problem. I see the consequences. Being tired, grumpy, stressed, and mentally checked out. But we’re all busy, right?
Busy is the new badge of motherhood. It can say, I’m important. I’ve got important things to do. Those who aren’t busy must not have as many important things to do as I do. Right?
This past week my kids were still in school. I was at home. Alone.
I obviously don’t know how to do alone. I filled the days with “busy-ness.” Now, I did so some productive things. I thoroughly enjoyed my time blogging. I caught up on housework. That felt good.
But I couldn’t stand not filling up my day. I made to do lists. I found my wall calendar and filled in the dates of summer camps and appointments. Not once did I just sit and enjoy being alone. Not once.
On the third day of being alone, most of my “important things” had been completed.
I couldn’t figure out what to do. I seriously became anxious and just weird! It felt all wrong. I drove to the girls’ school an hour early and sat in carpool and made more lists of what I should do.
You’re probably thinking they make meds for that! And I’m sure they do!
However, I am going to try to find a new normal of trying to be “unbusy.” I know that’s not a word but it describes what I need.
I need to learn to be still. I need to learn to be okay with taking TIME to slow it down a little.
I’m starting a book called Breaking Busy. I’ve read many recommendations for it.
I’m also starting a closer look and study of the Bible. There I believe that I will find the best advice. While reading this morning, I came to a great devotion about how we use our time. It was exactly what I needed to read today.
What about you? Can you quiet your mind or do you rush around busy all the time?