When You’re Scared But You Do It Anyway

Today was the day! (This was written last Thursday and I was too scared to post it! 🙂 )  It was my girls’ last day at an excellent school with wonderful teachers and reasonable tuition.

I will start homeschooling in the fall.  I shared last week about how I quit my full time teaching job.  That was the first piece of this puzzle.

I have questioned, prayed, talked about, written about, prayed some more, cried, and every other form of pleading that could have been done about this decision for years.  My personality wants to control everything and I have no exact road map for this journey.  I keep waiting for an adultier adult to show up and tell me exactly what to do and how it’s going to work out!

I am scared.  Terrified.   I’m sending my husband with the withdrawal forms next week because I am so anxious about it.

Photo Credit: The Humor League

The truth is that’s the truth.  I am scared but I’m doing it anyway.  I’m looking into the eyes of three little girls and smiling and speaking with confidence about how excited I am about this journey that we are beginning.  I’m skipping right over the part that I really have no clue and I think of the million things that could go wrong daily.  I’m omitting that I fought back tears as we were leaving campus today.

One step at a time.  If you’re struggling with fear about a decision as I was (still am some days), I’d like to share this post from Proverbs 31 Ministries titled “There is no such thing as a perfect decision.”  God continues to show up through people and devotions.

Here are the reasons that I believe that this is our next right thing for our family.  It is not right for everyone but I believe that it is going to be a good, good thing for us in our little corner of the world.

  1. I feel like I really don’t know my kids. Everyone is exhausted by 4 when we get home.  We just go through the motions of our routine.  And we go through them as quickly as we can because we must get.it.all.done.  I can’t wait to move somewhat unhurried through the day.  I want to give my children the chance to speak those long run-on sentences without finishing their thoughts myself.  I want to read all the words on the pages without trying to cut the story short.  I want to be able to focus on the details that I normally nod about and push through.
  2. I want to prioritize what is truly priority for us.  I don’t care so much if my kids know how to do the whip and nae-nae with a group.  I do, however, care that their hearts learn to sing of Christ and His love.
  3. I want our family unit to strengthen.  I want to have more time during these little years to make memories and love on people, both inside and outside of our walls.  This is my tribe.  The years rush past.  This is not forever.  Seconds literally seem to move into years gone by.  This is the best way that I know to slow it down.  It’s not perfect.  But it’s something.
  4. God is faithful.  I believe that he has called us to do this.  He just needs for me to do my part.  The rest is on Him.  I am confident that He can handle it.

So, off we go!


No Thanks, I Don’t Want to Save Money

Dollar, Triple, Currency, Symbols, Money

I was having a conversation a few weeks ago with someone who has no desire (and no need, I suppose) to save money.  She just simply said, “You’re cracking me up.” as I was explaining Ebates.

I started thinking about why that is.  Now, obviously, some people have plenty of money and don’t worry about spending it.  But…..EVEN then.  They surely care about some aspects of their lives more than others.  There must be priorities.  When you save in one category, you can spend more in another!  That is the exciting part of budgeting for me.

I’ve tried to come up with some possible reasons (other than that one) that people might not care about saving money.

  1. You have to say “NO” sometimes.  I have to tell myself (and often my family members) no about some things.  Sometimes that is hard.  It requires reminding everyone of our priorities.
  2. Others are watching.  I have been on many outings with people who bought things that they did not need (and really didn’t want) with money that they did not have because certain people were in the mix.  Peer pressure is still alive and well for adults!
  3. It does require time.  It takes time to find a deal.  I don’t just start shopping. I always use Ebates.  I check ibotta  and Checkout51 before I shop.  I look through and print needed coupons before I go shopping.
  4. It takes planning!  We’ve all been there.  We simply haven’t thought about what we are going to eat tonight.  We have a birthday party at 2 and we still have to get the gift.  The list could go on.
  5. They are unaware of how much they’re really spending.  Most people that I’ve talked to are shocked once they sit down to look at their monthly expenses.  (I was in this category.) Not surprising, we tend to “eat up” more than we imagined at restaurants.  It all adds up so quickly.

I love having a budget.  It helps me to feel like I have control over where my money is going.  It might seem that a budget is restricting.  I’ve found quite the opposite to be true.  I am actually able to spend money on the things that I love by spending less on the things that aren’t so important to me.

So, what about you?  Do you keep a budget?

An Addiction to Busy

Yes, you read that right.  An addiction.

There are no alcohol or drugs involved but sometimes the consequences can be just as heavy.  You can miss out on life.  The good stuff passes you by.

My addiction is to being busy!

Like with any addiction, I suppose, you don’t realize that you have a problem most of the time.  It doesn’t seem to be that big of a deal when I’m in the middle of it.

During the school year, when I’m doing 95 things a day and the schedule is crowded and every minute is spoken for, I wouldn’t notice a problem.  I see the consequences.  Being tired, grumpy, stressed, and mentally checked out.  But we’re all busy, right?

Busy is the new badge of motherhood.  It can say, I’m important.  I’ve got important things to do.  Those who aren’t busy must not have as many important things to do as I do.  Right?

This past week my kids were still in school.  I was at home.  Alone.

I obviously don’t know how to do alone.  I filled the days with “busy-ness.”  Now, I did so some productive things.  I thoroughly enjoyed my time blogging.  I caught up on housework.  That felt good.

But I couldn’t stand not filling up my day.  I made to do lists.  I found my wall calendar and filled in the dates of summer camps and appointments.  Not once did I just sit and enjoy being alone.  Not once.

On the third day of being alone, most of my “important things” had been completed.

I couldn’t figure out what to do.  I seriously became anxious and just weird!  It felt all wrong.  I drove to the girls’ school an hour early and sat in carpool and made more lists of what I should do.

You’re probably thinking they make meds for that!  And I’m sure they do!

However, I am going to try to find a new normal of trying to be “unbusy.”  I know that’s not a word but it describes what I need.

The Eleventh Hour, Disaster, Change

I need to learn to be still.  I need to learn to be okay with taking TIME to slow it down a little.

I’m starting a book called Breaking Busy.  I’ve read many recommendations for it.

I’m also starting a closer look and study of  the Bible.  There I believe that I will find the best advice.  While reading this morning, I came to a great devotion about how we use our time.  It was exactly what I needed to read today.

What about you?  Can you quiet your mind or do you rush around busy all the time?