Let them eat candy

halloweenimagesSo, it’s Halloween.  It’s pouring rain today so trick or treating was moved to last night for our parish.  The girls dressed as Elsa, Cinderella, and Rapunzel.  Tinkerbell and Ariel waited in the closet but missed out on the fun and weren’t needed for backup.  Everyone fit fine without too many itchies or complaints.

Today, none of the girls wanted breakfast, or lunch, or supper for that matter.  The garbage cans have had a steady supply of candy wrappers so I haven’t worried that this was anything to worry about.   Nobody needed a temp taken or any tummy medicine.  I have refrained from fussing.  I have learned a few things about this ever so hard parenting gig over the years.

The most important one…..it doesn’t last long.  All of the special moments are just that.  They are but a moment, a second, a memory if you can capture them somehow to remind yourself of the event.  Even though I know these things, I press on at a hurried pace through this mere blink.

I was tagged on facebook today by a friend who has a son the same age as Haigan.  She hosted Halloween parties for years for their little group of friends.  She had posted a picture of the group ready to trick or treat from six years ago.  They were tiny….and excited.   I faintly remembered what child might be mine as I looked over the masks and group of characters.  Recognizing his shoes, I spotted my skeleton.  As I sit typing,  this same little boy is off to a party with friends.  He just texted that he was safely there.  Thank you, Lord.
As I rehung costumes today, I saw a tiny jack o lantern suit in the corner.  I have had it for 20 years since Holton wore it for Halloween.  It feels as though I excitedly ordered that twelve month size pumpkin suit yesterday.  But…..he is at his own house tonight.  I’ve tried luring him over with food and sweet tea.  He says he may be able to come by tomorrow.

So…….. Let there be candy for every meal tomorrow.  It really won’t matter at all.

Today is brought to you by…

I haven’t written here in over a year.  This is not because I don’t think of a million things that I’d like to post about.  My mind is always on overdrive and going in a million different directions.  (If ritalin had been popular when I was in school, I would have been visiting the nurse before lunch every day for my dosage.)  It’s not because my life has been boring or lacking events to note.  It is simply because I AM TIRED!  And I’m tired of being tired!   My facebook status at this moment states “Today has been brought to you by the letter TIRED!”  Isn’t that ridiculous?  I’m tired of complaining about being tired too!

I’m 41 going on 70!  It’s 8:48 and I’m gettting a little nervous that I might not get in bed early enough to wake up by dark:30 with a smile on my face to greet 114 pre-teens with the appropriate morning niceness. Is that a word?  Niceness.  It is now.

What bothers me most is that I am missing out on so much of my life and I CAN NOT for the life of me figure out how to slow it down, take it all in, be present in the moments.  I can’t quite figure out how to live out all of the quotes that I’ve posted through the years that spoke to my heart.  At what point do you stop chasing and stop racing in the rat race and just say enough is enough.  I’m changing the course of this ship.

I wake up panicking because somebody’s uniform is in the washer and it needs to be dry before they leave.  It is nuts that my first thoughts are of something that I’m behind about…..because I slept!  I’m sure some of this forever long to do list is normal for most people.  I know that only the glamorous goes public on social media.  I’ve never seen anyone cleaning a toilet in a selfie or posing in front of a sinkful of dirty dishes.  I know that life is busy for most people.  I get that I’m not some crazy exception to the rule or super woman.

I’m just soul searching for some really intentional ways to slow mine down….for the sake of my self and my family.

I’m going to write about it until I figure it out.  Because that helps, right?   🙂